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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Finally, the bus rolls up, and I hop on. I’m still thinking about that dog. I mean, who needs a boyfriend when you can have a dog, right? I sit down, and this lady next to me starts talking about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m all about dogs.” But she’s super nice, and we end up chatting about Redange. She tells me about the history of the old church on Rue de l’Église. Apparently, it’s been there since the 12th century! Mind blown.

'Kropemann' rises from River Attert for celebration